Well after a long month full of busyness and anticipation but also full of rest, I’m off on the second part of my journey; 3 months in Guatemala.
And as I go, I’m also leaving my family and my bestest friend who I am now engaged to as of a week before Christmas! I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him. But as of now, for half of our engagement I’ll be in Guatemala and for a quarter of it he’ll be in New Zealand; half way across the world and 19 hours ahead in time.
And although 3 months doesn’t seem very long, 3 months on Outtatown feels like a year because of the life and learning packed into this time. I know that I’ll miss him like crazy. But I know the Lord has big plans for us while apart so He can prepare us to come back together and be able to work together even better to build His kingdom.
It feels as though my time spent at home over Christmas was well spent but it often felt like there wasn’t enough of it.
I was learning that since I didn’t have all the time in the world, I couldn’t possibly make time for everyone.
I was learning that I daily need to give over that time to the Lord and let Him handle my days.
“Good morning, God here, and I’m going to be handling all your problems today.”
I found this on a set of coasters in a book shop and I was definitely feeling directly spoken to. I know that deep down this is something we would love to really let happen but it seems so difficult to do in our culture because of how we don’t seem to know what it looks like to slow down and have real rest. To give up our time is too difficult because of how tightly we hold onto it. We don’t like to give up our control.
I hope that as I enter a new culture where time doesn’t have nearly as much control, that I’ll be able to start to apply what I’ve been learning even more so.
I know the Lord has been preparing me for this adventure that I’m going on and that He has big plans for what is coming.
But still a part of me feels scared. I don’t know exactly what that fear is of but I do know that even if I don’t feel ready, “Jesus doesn’t called the equipped, He equips the called.”
And we sometimes think that joy is for happy people only and that in the midst of these fearful times and difficult seasons we couldn’t possibly have joy. But joy is a spiritual discipline. And to choose His joy as our strength isn’t always easy and it really does take effort but imagine if we truly could develop a spirit of dependence on our Creator for every single thing we need.
“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.” – Luke 12:32
Photos by: Kelvin Dalke