God is so good.
His peace astounds me.
These past couple weeks I’ve felt restless. Restless in my soul. Restless about being here and questioning God as to if I was supposed to really be doing this or not.
But He answered.
Why wouldn’t He?
People were placing doubts in my mind about what I was going to be learning these weeks, as we are halfway through three weeks of instruction. These were perspectives coming from outsiders who are sceptical of this program and sceptical about what good is actually going to come out of it.
Why would I be listening to this?
I don’t know. But God’s voice is always there and is always stronger than our fears and our doubts.
It’s okay to doubt, don’t get me wrong, but when it overcomes you and twists the truth, then it needs to be dealt with.
I know that I have control over my actions and whether I want to choose to let God have the rest of the control. I also have control over whether or not I continue to choose Him. And to choose His truth.
I don’t have control over what’s being taught this year and what people say or do to me. But God does.
He knows. He knows me better than I know myself. And He knows what this year has in store.
I know that I can bring everything to Him in order to discern truth. All things talked about, all things read, and all things discussed.
But this requires time alone with Him.
And I’ve been pleasantly surprised at the amount of introverted people on my site here; so time alone to process and recharge has not been a problem at all.
As well, this is essential for dealing with a restless soul.
“Go to the one that gave you breath and He will help you conquer.” – Judah Smith
And He is always quick to comfort and to remind me that He is God of my life. Nothing else.
He’s been able to speak through the instructors as well, as we’ve been studying the Old Testament and theology.
I’ve been learning to hold to the fact that God doesn’t change and He never will. He is the same through the Old Testament and the New Testament and He is always love and always just.
I’ve been learning to think theologically but also to live faithfully and seek God in everything I do and everything I say.
And the thing that I really love (most of the time) about these things that I’ve been learning, is that I get to put them into practice right away in this community that I’m living in.
It’s been extremely stretching but also really cool to be able to have a deep discussion with someone and then to continue on doing life together after that no matter how the discussion ended.
And through these conversations, I’ve been learning to listen and seek to understand rather than to always be understood.
I think we all have something to learn from someone else, no matter what their beliefs are and if they line up with our own or not.
We are all children of God are we not? And we’re all made in His image right?
Therefore we all have value.
Who am I to think that God’s grace isn’t enough for everyone?
Life with these people here is getting a lot more comfortable and a lot more exciting; as we get to know each other better and I’m able to see glimpses of what God has in store as part of His marvellous plan for the year.
I will continue to find rest when my soul is restless and to seek the God of peace and comfort always. I will continue to choose joy and to put my whole heart into this year and I will continue to seek His face and His truth always.
Because He is so good.